Positive Events
Getting ice cream with my wife.
I spent time at Harvard’s McLean Hospital, a psychiatric hospital. I learned a very powerful method for finding happiness in any situation.
The hospital has thousands of patients, and the hospital has one particular problem that comes up often. I was impressed with how they dealt with it. Since most of the patients do not stay overnight there, in particular, on weekends, the patients are unsupervised in their at-home day-to-day lives. How do you keep patients from doing reckless or dangerous things or just getting into a very negative mood? What do you do with unsupervised patients so that they can stay well, even on weekends?
Positive Events
Every Friday, they required patients to identify at least one positive thing they wanted to do for enjoyment over the weekend and then commit to it. They had to schedule it like a doctor’s appointment. It was okay if they needed to spend money on it. After all, doing something positive is almost always cheaper than having problems or needing a doctor.
This has many benefits. It is an action that people can take unilaterally. It gives them control over their lives. They have something to look forward to. It validates their emotions. It reminds them that life can be enjoyable. It gives them something to think about and talk about. Overall, it gives them at least some control over their emotional experience.
Make Your Own List
You can make this part of your daily experience. Make a list, and I encourage you to do this right now, or the next free moment you have. In fact, it can be your next positive event. Make a list of at least 10 things that you like to do or that you want to do. They don’t have to be earth-shattering. They should be simple things that you can easily do, like reading, taking a walk, calling a friend, watching a guilty TV show, or going to a cafe.
Of course, as life goes on, you can update your list.
When You Feel Bad
Whenever you feel bad or even if you don’t, take out your list, pick something, and do it. If you’re indecisive, pick the first thing. Then commit to doing it, don’t switch mid-choice. This can give you back control over what is going on. Force yourself to do it.
What are your positive events?
