Standards: My Wife’s Secret To Success

We recently traveled to Switzerland. I always like to take Swiss Air. SwissAir is usually more expensive, but I take them because they have standards and I can trust them to deliver a certain level of service. They have standards. They seem to have a thinking that says, “We intended to deliver a certain quality of service, and if we can’t, we’d rather be out of business.”

This thinking is different from what seems to be the thinking of many airlines. “Do just enough to keep them from leaving. The only reason for maintaining a brand is so we can charge a little more than others.” Their intention is more about profitability than standards and integrity.

My Wife

My wife was born in the Dominican Republic and moved to the US when she was 12. She moved to a poor town and had a very difficult time graduating from high school. However, she ended up becoming an executive housekeeper and one of the best in the Boston area. She was given her last job without even an interview because her reputation preceded her. A little over a year ago, she quit her job, at a relatively young age, and retired with me, where we are basically a retired family focusing on raising our children and providing a warm and loving home.

We got married. She lives in one of the richest towns in the country. We have a beautiful house. We live a nice high high-quality life together. In the last year, we’ve traveled to London, Montreal, Vermont, and Venice. We stayed in luxury hotels. We took a long trip to Switzerland, and took the family on a nice Caribbean cruise. Her son is now in one of the best schools.

How Did She Do It?

My wife impresses me, which is why I married her. But how did she do it? This is a question that I like to ask and that many people like to ask about successful people. I like to take the question a step further. Most people come up with a list of rules, and maybe write a book about it: The 21 Laws of Success. However, I like to keep it simple and ask, “What is the one thing that led to her success? What is the one thing that anyone could apply easily?”

Standards

We discussed this, and in the end, she came up with the word standards. I felt this word was perfect. It’s about deciding who you want to be, with integrity, rather than letting the circumstances decide. Many people just seem to want to be good enough or just get by. They seek the minimum acceptable.

Quality of Work

One of the first things that she did was to do a good job. She wanted to do a better job than others, not simply by working harder but by having cleaner rooms.

Dress

The second thing that she did was dress well. She started as a housekeeper of the lowest position. Like many people in her position, she worked hard. She worked long hours. However, she did one thing differently; she dressed more professionally, and made sure that before she left her home that she was well dressed and fully groomed with nice makeup and hair. She would spend about 1-2 hours just getting ready.in the morning.

The funny thing is that this is one of the reasons for my success as well. Early on in the tech industry, I always dressed in a suit, while a nicely dressed tech person was generally one who wore a polo and khakis. My suit seemed extreme. When I worked at RSA, I ended up getting the nickname “Hollywood” because of the way I presented myself. My clothes sent a message, “I care about what I do and I intend to be successful.”

I find many people still dress like they are in high school, trying to be the coolest kid in school, or their community, among their friends, or their family. Legendary designer Tom Ford says dress like the person that you want to be in five years.

Look At Strangers

I find a lot of people want to discount appearance, and say it is superficial, and feel pressured to please others. “I don’t care what others think!”

Here is an exercise that I want you to take. Consider that you are rich and you want to either invest in or hire someone to. Look around at the people you see on the street and the cars that their driving, then ask yourself who you would trust with your money and why?

We Want People Who…

One of the reasons people want to invest in us, or give us a job is because we are going to make their lives better. This is two parts. First, we’re going to deliver quality according to their specifications. The second is that we want someone who is going to make us look good. We want people to look at the person we hired and say, “Wow! You made a good choice.”

Car

The third major thing that my wife did was to buy a decent car. While many people in her situation would get something that is logically practical, like a Honda, she bought an Acura. Many people in her life criticized her for her choice because, financially, it was honestly out of her budget. However, for her, it was an excellent choice. It’s a luxury car, but also not too nice. When she arrived at work, well-dressed, in a clean, nice car, people had much more respect for her.

I’m always surprised at housekeeping people who show up in a cheap old car, with sweatpants, and messy hair. I understand the argument. “I’m here to clean, and I’m going to get dirty.” But do you want a dirty person cleaning for you? I cringe when I see these people. They may be nice people, and I would like to say that I’m not judgmental, but there is an instantaneous cringe. I can look past it, but it does make it harder to respect them, because they don’t seem to respect themselves.

Particularly in hospitality, when my wife showed up in nice clothes and a nice car, she looked good. The thing about how a hotel manager feels. He or she wants to create a great experience for their staff. They want someone who is going to make them look good. She did that.

I have had a few people ask me for advice on buying a car. I’ve had over 35. And their sinking seems almost always to revolve around financial considerations. Which car is going to be reliable? What car is good for the budget I have? Instead, I always ask, “Which car is going to make you happy and get you a promotion?” This doesn’t mean getting the nicest car, after all, people don’t want to see you as reckless either, unless you can back it up.

She’s Nice

When I mention that someone has risen the ranks and become successful, it’s easy to think that she must be a tough woman, and she is, but to others. She’s tough on herself. She is very nice to people and cares about them. As she became a manager, she would do things like have daily pep talks with her team and send positive quotes to them, and play good music. She encouraged them and saw the best in them, rather than bringing them down with fear and intimidation, which is common in the hospitality industry.

As someone who stays in hotels a lot, the emotional atmosphere plays a very important role in the quality of the stay. The room can be nice, the hotel can be clean, and the building luxurious, but as I stay there and I see the staff, they give off a certain energy. If they are stressed and look miserable, it makes me feel uncomfortable, and even guilty for staying there. When the staff is friendly and welcoming, the hotel is much more enjoyable. This is the type of environment she created with her attitude.

This is how I met her. I met her in a hotel. I noticed that it was clean, the staff was friendly, and it just “felt” good. As someone who has worked in a hospital and traveled a lot, I realized that someone very talented and special must be behind it, and it was her..

Standards

I think her approach can be summed up by the keyword: standards. ; Define the quality of life that you want to have. Insist upon it. But also don’t be a jerk and force others to comply. Have integrity. Be willing to go out of business or get fired. Be willing to not get what you want immediately. Be clean. Dress well. Deliver quality. Be the person you want to be, not what is merely acceptable to others or the people around you. Make your home nice. Don’t use money as an excuse. Make it happen. Be nice to people. Have standards. Have integrity.