Recast: A Method to Feel Better
I spent time at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. This is Harvard’s Psychiatric hospital, and the success rates of patients are very high.
Do You Have What It Takes?
One of the things that I found fascinating was that they did not treat everyone. The staff assessed whether or not the patient was capable of improvement. The truth is that many people, for whatever reason, do not want to get better and will not do the work. They like feeling bad. They like blaming the world or their circumstances. Those people were kicked out.
The doctors would say, “We can help you, but only if you do the work, only if you follow our guidance. Are you going to do that?” If they didn’t feel confident in the patient’s answer, they would not treat that patient.
Sometimes, people will say they want to get better, but they don’t believe the process will work. In other words, they decide before they start that they are going to fail. Or they “half commit,” and they say, “Well, I’ll give it a try.” Both are the same as deciding that it won’t work.
Are You Committed To Feeling Better?
I am going to present a procedure that I can guarantee will help you feel better, but only if you commit. So decide now, before you continue. Be honest with yourself and don’t blame me or the process.
This procedure will help you solve any problem that you have, regardless of whether you are sick, angry, unhappy, miserable, depressed, or anxious. The reason that I can guarantee this is because, at the end of the day, all feelings that you have come from your beliefs, and you can change your beliefs.
Are you sure that you want to get better? Are you willing to commit to this process? If you fail, it’s not because the process doesn’t work; it’s because you’re using the process to decide that it doesn’t. Ironically, you’re using the process itself to prove that it doesn’t work.
Summary
The process is simple. Be honest about what you feel. Then ask yourself what you must believe to feel the way that you do. Then, finding new positive beliefs. Then imagine how the ideal you would live and respond to life. And finally, taking action. Be that ideal you.
Write it Down
While it may be tempting to try and do this in your head, write it down. Writing is important because it clarifies and solidifies what you are doing. You can use paper. You can use the notes app on your phone. It doesn’t matter.
Step 1. Let It All Out
First, realize that your mind is more like a receiver than a computer. So what you want to do in this first step is to capture what you’re thinking and feeling. It’s like a photo of your mind. What channel are you tuned to? You do this by simply writing down everything that you’re thinking and feeling. That’s it. Let it all out and hold nothing back. You really cannot get this step wrong. Pay attention to any situations or people that keep showing up in your mind.
Writing helps you linearize your thinking.
Step 2: Write Down Your Beliefs
The next step is to ask yourself, what must you believe to be thinking and feeling the way that you do? Make a list. As a reminder, a belief is two things: knowledge plus an opinion. Write down all of your beliefs until you feel the list encapsulates what you’re feeling and thinking. You want to get to a point where you say to yourself, “Yeah, that’s it. That summarizes what I am experiencing.”
As you do this entire procedure, realize that you can go back and forth between steps. You don’t have to follow in this particular order. You might find that after you complete this step, or any other, that you forgot something. It’s okay to come back and forth and make changes.
I don’t have enough money.
My kids hate me.
I am not working hard enough.
I can’t do what I want to do.
My house sucks.
My car sucks.
Jull is mean to me.
I have no place to go
There’s no way out.
My job is not fun
Step 3: Write Down Your Fundamental Beliefs
The world doesn’t define you, you do. All of your beliefs originate from your deepest beliefs, which are the beliefs that you have about yourself and life itself. The key thing here is that your fundamental beliefs should not include any reference to the world “out there.” For example, instead of saying “Jill is mean to me,” you might say “I cannot control how I feel. I cannot get what I want. I am doing something wrong. I am a bad person. ” One way to get at these beliefs is to add, ‘So what?' after each of your beliefs.
When I talk to people, this is one step that they struggle with simply because they want to include “physical reality” in their definition.
Based upon the previous list, here is what you might write:
I cannot do what I want to do.
I am not good enough.
I am a bad person.
I am not appreciated.
I am inadequate.
I do not enjoy life.
I cannot control my life.
I am powerless.
I hate myself.
I am trapped.
Step 4: Write Down Your Preferred Beliefs
After this, the process gets easier. Basically, to move forward, write down the opposite of those beliefs. This is the person that you wish you were and the life that you wish that you could lead.
I do what I want to do
I am perfect.
I am an amazing person.
I am loved and appreciated.
I am more than enough for this life.
Life is easy and fun.
I am in complete control.
I am powerful.
I love myself.
I am free.
Step 5: Imagine The Ideal You
Now that you have identified what you wish were true, make it true. To do that, imagine how this ideal you would live your life. I find it helpful to ask what a role model does in my situation. What would someone that I admire do?
I also find it helpful to look at people that I know and ask, “If they were in my situation, what would I recommend?” Sometimes it’s easier to judge others, and then after you have fully judged them, turn it around and take your advice.
As you do this, pay particular attention to the actions that this ideal you would take. This is your blueprint. This is your receipt for success.
Step 6: Take Action
In the end, you should have a list of actions to represent the ideal you. While some people say “Have a positive attitude,” or “thoughts create reality,” that’s not quite accurate.
Thinking is just the blueprint. You can read all the books, have all the recipes, and download tons of apps on your phone. But what matters is what you do at the ned of the day. Actions speak louder than words, and ultimately, you have to act like this person. Be that person.
Actions express what your truest belief is. And when you start acting this way, your feelings will change, not always immediately, but quickly.
Repeat
This is not a process that you do once and it’s over. It’s like paying attention to the GPS when you’re off course. Negative feelings are guidance and are gifts.
Repeat this over and over. As you get better at it, it will be quicker and more obvious, and you will be more “on course,” and you’ll experience less negative feelings in general. You will smooth out the bumps in your life.
