Own Your Decisions
Having dinner at the Land in EPCOT at Disney World with my son years ago.
Something that I see often when I hear people talk or when I view social media is someone expressing their opinion. I think it’s great that people express their opinions, but typically, they don’t leave it there. They don’t just say “I believe this.” They follow it up with some sort of “fact” or “clever” argument that proves their point. But the question is, why do people do this?
First, people want to be validated. They are insecure about their decisions. They want to use facts rather than owning that they are choosing to believe something. They couch their opinions in facts and evidence. They’ll say something like “This politician is bad and here’s the proof.” Or “This is the solution to your health problem. A study proves it. And there is no study to prove the opposite.”
The problem is that for every fact, study, and piece of evidence that we have, we can also find some contrary logic. We can find something that proves that point incorrect.
If the evidence were really the cause of a person’s decision, they would be willing to openly hear other opinions and consider other evidence, not in an effort to prove the people who disagree wrong, but to make the most informed decision. Instead, in the face of contrary evidence, many people get defensive.
The truth is, most people want to believe what they want to believe, and they are not being honest with themselves and the world in this regard.
Another option, instead, is that a person can simply say, “I am choosing to believe this.” The person doesn’t need to ask others for validation. They don’t need to push their point of view on others. Remember, we have 100% complete control to live the lives that we want. We have 100% control over our decisions and how we choose to act.
My recommendation is this: if you choose to share, first own your opinions. Second, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel good and loving in the presentation of your idea? Do you feel like you’re giving others a gift, and that will say “Oh! Thank you!” Do you have a smile on your face? Do you feel empathetic and compassionate with the listener? Or do you feel anyone who sees things differently from you is bad and wrong? Are you angry and upset thinking about it?
In my case, I can say that I choose to believe that there is a cure for cancer. I choose to believe that eating a carnivore diet is the best choice. I am not willing to consider evidence to the contrary because my opinions make me happy and give me confidence. Having these beliefs makes me happier.
If you don’t agree with me, you don’t have to. You can present me with evidence, but at the moment, I am not interested in hearing it. I have made my decision. Is this wise, or am I just being close-minded? Does it matter? I am happy with my decisions, and they serve me well by giving me positive results in my life. That’s all that matters to me. It’s not about whether other people agree or not.
If I chose an opinion and I wasn’t getting results, then I might be more open-minded. If I were gaining weight and felt sick, then I might question, “What is the best diet?” But on a carnivore diet, I am happy, sleep well, healthy, and pleased with my weight. So why do I need your opinion?
Ask yourself this: can you allow others to believe what they need to believe? Can you just be honest about what you choose to believe and not couch it in so-called evidence?
The Truth
I think two problems for many people are, first, that they want to believe that there is only one truth, and second, that they need the agreement of other people to live their lives to the fullest. You always get to choose what you believe, regardless of what anyone does or thinks. Second, the ultimate truth is that all truths are true, even if they seem contradictory. Look around you, and you will see plenty of people who hold different beliefs, and they are succeeding in their lives and can prove that they are correct. So what? Own what you choose to believe and be honest about it.
The next time you see someone presenting their point of view, you can ask yourself Is this person genuinely interested in a different point of view? I find more often than not that they are angry and bitter. Their beliefs do not make them happy. And that leads to the next point.
Do Your Beliefs Make You Happy?
And if you find that you want to prove other people wrong, ask yourself, “Does my point of view make me happy? Am I willing to consider other points of view, genuinely? Why do I want to hold on to this opinion that makes me upset?”
